Attempts to Understand
by nappyhead
Summary: Hinata pov. Hinata sees Gaara. That's where it all started. somewhat poetryish [complete?]
1. Chapter 1

I tried to make this a one-shot. but it started getting longer and longer. very short chapters. I think this should be in the angst section. i dunno.

* * *

I didn't know why I was interested.

I looked at him. He looked at me.

His gaze seemed to penetrate right through me. I looked away immediately.

The penetrating seemed to stop. I looked at him again.

That solitary man standing there. His eyes said something.

I caught his eyes again…

Lonely.

Cold.

Tired.

I didn't look away this time. I steadily kept looking.

He caught me…

I would like to help him…

Save him if not the other…

His look changed.

He walked away…

* * *

Told you it was short... please review. 


	2. Chapter 2

I saw him again.

He noticed my presence and turned to me.

This time he had he had something in mind.

He started walking towards me. I had nowhere else to go. That gaze is penetrating me to stay at my spot.

He's standing in front of me now…

That look in his eyes appeared again.

Do. Say. Nothing came from me.

"Sorry," I whispered.

He appeared to be surprised. I didn't know what I was sorry for… it was because he's alone. I'm alone too. I know what its like.

He noticed the same look in my eyes…

He left again.

My heart was beating rapidly.

* * *

I feel so angsty writing this. hehe. 


	3. Chapter 3

My heart hurts a lot today.

Alone today. Alone tomorrow…

He left me…

For her…

Haruno Sakura…

I didn't know how much it would hurt for him to leave.

Still hurting...

-here's the next one. It looked pretty short-

He came on official business…

That's what my old teammate said…

He became Kazekage a few years ago

A quickened beat occurred.

I suppressed the impulse to look for him.

He would've forgotten me anyway, we only looked at each other...

* * *

okay, way to go. go me. 2:27 am. a little late to be sleeping late. time to sleep for 4 hours. 


	4. Chapter 4

Really? This is considered boringpoem format? okay whatever. your opinions not mine...guess i have to make some changes then.

* * *

Seeing them as a couple, passing me by. Naruto and Sakura. 

The heart hurts just a little today…A little.

That's a good sign I'm subsiding my feelings…I suppose.

I saw him…

He caught my gaze yet again even through the passerby's.

Gaara looked less tired than before. I gave him a small smile.

He nodded at me to follow him and we went into a little coffee shop.

---

He's in front of me. Steadily drinking his tea as if everything in the world is fine.

We had nothing to say at each other but toglance at each other.

Conversations weren't my specialty.

"Hyuuga Hinata correct?" this was the first sentence he said.

I nodded, at least I grew out of my stuttering.

"To make our villages stronger as one. This is our agreement," he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms.

"Gomen-ne. What was that?"

I didn't get what he was saying.

"The Hyuuga clan has offered that to make both our villages stronger. The Hyuuga heir will take marriage to the Kazekage."

"Souka," I gaped slightly.

He said 'offered' right. They offered me…guess that means they're getting rid of the trash early.

He noticed the downcast expression in my face.

"Still digesting the information? I'll leave you to think," he stood up and left me to my thoughts.

* * *

There's more dialogue for you. Reminds me of the other stories where the Hyuuga's "gave" her away. 


	5. Chapter 5

ATTEMPTS TO UNDERSTAND

Recap: "Still digesting the information? I'll leave you to think," he stood up and left me alone…

* * *

Me. Marrying the Kazekage. Gaara. 

My heart didn't ache at this thought.

Something must be wrong with it. It was beating for a different reason.

I heard the stories of him as a killer.

Of how the victims would see last in their lives a pair of eyes and sand.

The emotionless spirit.

He didn't look like a killer to me.

I understand him. Just a little…

He asked her hand in marriage a few days ago.

Sakura was ecstatic. Showing her ring to everyone that walked by.

I suppose it was meant to be.

Two loud people to marry each other.

While two quiet ones did the same.

I accepted the marriage.

If it was best for the clan…for the village…for me…then I'll do it.

I believed in fate. Destiny.

I'll marry Gaara of the Sand…

----

Kiba was quite loud when he heard the announcement…Shino was quiet as usual…Sensei congratulated me…I knew they were worried for me.

I felt different today. Breathing was easier.

A heavy atmosphere was lifted off my shoulders.

Perhaps I'm a little anxious to get married to Kaze-, I mean Gaara-san.

When we met a little bit later I told him yes.

He wanted me to call him something other than Kazekage…

So Gaara-san I called him. We were getting there.

* * *

Wherever there was anyway...I too like the hated Hyuuga clan giving away Hinata. Just makes things more interesting. off topic ciao. thinking about changing the title to A little bit. Cause she says that alot. maybe 


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

Leaving Konoha with all my memories here, I'll remember everything. 

Everyone said goodbye to me.

Even my sister and Neji came to see me off today. He had taken the role of older brother after the exams. I'm glad he cared.

I was going to change too.

My destiny…wherever it takes me…is going to make me a better person.

/-/-/

Gaara-san was the only person that was escorting me to his village.

Now out of Konoha borders, we rested around a cloister of trees. Gaara-san made the fire and sat at the other side of the fire. It was more quiet than usual in the forest. Either that or it was just me.

We just sat there staring into the fire. I took out two lunchboxes. I know it was nearing midnight but we hadn't had a chance to stop and rest.

"Gaara-san? Would you…like something to eat?" I offered him.

If I was going to be married to him I better start talking to him more. So I could get used to his presence. Gaara-san nodded.

He ate everything. He must've been hungry. Or just polite.

/-/-/

Early next morning. The fire died out as it should but I didn't see Gaara-san anywhere.

"Gaara-san?" I called out.

Did he leave me? He wouldn't. He must've gone off to use the bathroom or something.

I calmed myself down before I panicked even more. I sat back down and waited. It wasn't too long I waited. He came back. I was glad to see him. He said he was only checking the area.

/-/-/

We reached the end of the forest. I could already feel the heat radiating off of the sand.

"You might want to change into this," Gaara-san handed me some clothes.

"Why is that?" I took the white clothing.

"Your skin looks sensitive to the sun. It's best to wear this and not have a heat-stroke," he plainly said.

I nodded and went out of his sight to change.

It was all white, like one of those long robes, kind of like all the Kages' wore. There was a long robe, with a long jacket, and a hood that looked like a scarf. It fitted just right and I didn't have trouble hiding my weapons and medic gear.

I came out behind some trees and looked at Gaara-san. There was a flicker in his eye. It disappeared and he nodded.

It was rather cool in the desert. There were many clouds hanging about so it looked like it was going to rain tonight or the night after. Gaara picked up the pace and we got to the village in the afternoon.

I saw his two siblings waiting for us at the entrance of the village.

* * *

Already done, just needed to revise that clothes part and finish provcrastinating with this chapter. 


	7. Chapter 7

I should really finish this.

* * *

Temari-san welcomed us cheerfully. Gaara-san glared at her. Kankurou didn't say anything he was just staring at me. I think his make-up made him look less serious and so I smiled at him.

There were some people watching us. They were whispering something and giving Gaara-san glares. Why would they glare at their Kazekage?

Temari-san reported to me that the wedding was going to be the day after tomorrow. All of the important people in the village were coming. I didn't hear anybody from my family coming at all.

She also said that I couldn't see Gaara-san until the wedding. Traditions. I looked around. He was gone. I was going to sleep in their house tonight. Then when I'm married I'll be staying with Gaara.

/-/-/

The next day Temari and Kankurou showed me the village. Sunagakure no Sato didn't look that different from Konoha besides fewer stores and buildings. It was raining today as I guessed. Very few people were out. The stores were closed for the day. Saw some signs say that they open in the afternoon and close at 5 am. The heat must be pretty serious out here. Well we are in the desert.

I wonder what Gaara-san is doing? Maybe some paper work. Throughout the tour, I've been thinking about him.

"Bored already are ya?" Temari grinned breaking through my thoughts.

Well I couldn't lie, "Sorry but yes."

"Figured that out when I saw Kankurou disappear. Let's get out of all of this rain then," we trudged back into their house.

She left me to myself and I went back to my room. I didn't bring a lot of clothes with me figuring the clothes from Konoha would make me pass out. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I answered. It was Temari, whose head popped in the door, she grinned at me closing the door behind her. She had a package in her hands as she took a chair from the desk and sat it in front of me, plopping herself down.

"Since you're going to be staying here. I'm gonna tell ya some things," she paused giving her statement to sink in.

"If you're going to be living with Gaara all happily ever after-like. It's not gonna happen. You saw him at the chuunin exams didn't you?"

Remember the fight between him and Rock Lee. I thought he looked vicious for a moment but then remembered that that was years ago. He must've changed after that because Naruto said good things about him.

"Gaara is just like Naruto. He has a demon inside him too. And because of that demon he can't go to sleep lest the demon will eat his personality and wreak havoc."

Way to put it bluntly. I saw her hands tightened around the package.

"He's still my little brother but I hope once he's married he'll see something new," she continued saying.

"You mean he hasn't changed?" it looks like he changed to me.

Temari waved her hand, "Oh yeah he's changed. But he still hasn't learned about that one thing. Or he probably already knows," she crossed her legs, "But he's forgotten what it felt like."

"And what's that?"

"You'll know once you think about it some more," she cheered up again, "I just came to give some clothes to you. I was cleaning my closet and saw that some of my clothes might fit you." She handed me the package. "Guess now we can start shopping together huh?" she laughed and walked out of the room. I didn't find anything to laugh about at the time.

I opened the present she gave to me and saw that it was her purple button down dress. Looked exactly what she was wearing now. I put it away for now.

/-/-/

The getting married part was quick and painless. Nothing fancy. I was soon in Gaara's house. Cold and unused to me. Gaara showed me every room.

A living room, kitchen, guest room, there was a door locked and Gaara didn't say anything about that room. I forgot to mention that there was a lot of browns and dark reds in his house. Looked actually good to me, wonder if he noticed that. Of course he wouldn't, fashion doesn't interest Gaara. But he does have some good tastes.

And then there was our room. The master bedroom was large. Bathroom, one closet large enough for the both of us. Gaara's desk next to another door that was strangely locked too. Drawers on each side of the…bed.

"Hinata."

I jumped, I was a little nervous; I turned around to face Gaara.

"Go to bed," was all Gaara said before taking off his shirt. I changed in the bathroom and slid under the covers.

I waited for him to come bed. He didn't come. I took a peek over the covers and saw him at his desk full of papers.

All of the lights were turned off except for the one lamp at his desk. Looked like he wasn't going to come to bed for a while.

I was both relieved and a little disappointed. I know I shouldn't say this but I felt kind of down. It's the wedding night. Don't we get to have some contact or something?

I tried to wait for him; it was the Hyuuga thing to do. Wait for your husband to go to sleep first. They come first, and then you can worry about yourself.

I dozed off twice, the bed was too soft, the last time I opened my eyes I saw Gaara standing over me. "Sleep Hinata," and that was my cue to finally sleep.

* * *

c'mon me! 


	8. Chapter 8

ATTEMPTS TO UNDERSTAND

* * *

The next day the other side of the bed was unused and cold. Gaara was in the kitchen instead looking outside the window.

"Good morning Gaara-san."

He took a glance at me, "Morning."

Now that I wasn't living by myself anymore I can start cooking for other people. I found myself a new favorite hobby, cooking. I raided his fridge, surprisingly full, and…yes there was a case of beer at the bottom. Didn't know he liked to drink.

We got into a routine. I wake up, find him still working. Tell him to use the bathroom while I make breakfast. Then I make lunch for both of us and then. I blushed the first time he told me he would be walking me to the hospital.

He started doing it everyday. Even though we didn't talk much, I liked this. I could get used to marrying Gaara.

/-/-/

"Gaara-san, I came by to bring your lunch," I poked my head in his office.

He wasn't there. His secretary said he went home. Why would Gaara go home for? Maybe he was sick. I rushed home with a terrible feeling in my stomach.

I knew tonight was cold but when I entered our house it was even colder. I shivered and walked slowly on alert. Something was wrong. I turned on my byakugan and saw nothing out of the ordinary.

Our bedroom door was slightly ajar. Gaara was breathing erratically clutching his chest on the floor. I ran to him.

"Gaara-san! Are you hurt?"

He glanced up at me and pushed me away and turned to the wall. He groaned.

"Gaara," I rubbed his back. I didn't know what was wrong with him.

His breathing slowed but he became tense.

"Hinata," he said lowly.

"Yes?" I leaned in to see his face more.

"Run…"

It took me a few seconds to wonder why.

The next thing I knew, I was pushed up against the wall with Gaara over me.

"G-G-Gaara?" his hand holding my shoulder in place.

"You didn't run," this wasn't Gaara's everyday voice. I was trembling. His eyes…I didn't like the way he was looking at me.

He came closer and…was at the crook of my neck. I froze. All I felt was him breathing on my neck…and sand crawling over my hands.

Sand. His gourd was sitting at the corner with the top off this worried me even more.

I closed my eyes. The sand found the cut on my arm.

"Satisfyingly sweet blood," he raked his teeth on my neck.

I shivered, "Gaara. Please…Don't. Gaara."

Did I do something wrong?

Was I about to get killed like everyone else said?

Sand slinked up my arms.

"Uh, H-Hinata?"

I opened one eye. His eyes, they were back to light green again, became my favorite color.

My eyes burned and cried in Gaara's arms.

This was the last time I saw the demon inside Gaara.

/-/-/

Temari said it was going to be Gaara's birthday tomorrow. January 19, Very short notice, I didn't know what to get him.

I'll bake him a strawberry cake instead. I was proud of myself, it was my second time making a cake, and the last one turned a different color much to my chagrin.

But alas, all my hard work into this cake was going to be destroyed seconds later when I came out of the kitchen.

"And then Kankurou here just fooled him with his puppet trick. His face was quite funny right before we killed him," Temari said to Gaara about their latest mission.

"I think Hinata has brought us something nice today," Kankurou licked his lips.

Temari wacked his head, "It's for Gaara, baka! Sheesh I'll bring you a nice cake on your birthday and fill it with sand," I laughed.

And oops, Kankurou's puppet was right on the floor where I was walking. Uh, I'm so embarrassed I tripped and there it went.

Flying into Gaara's hair. Kankurou laughed. I ran to Gaara.

"I'm so sorry Gaara-san!" I used the apron to help take off the cake.

Another wack, "You baka! I told you to stop leaving your dolls all over the place!"

"It had a mind of its own," Kan-kun whined rubbing the back of his head retrieving his favorite doll.

"Gaara-san I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going."

"No don't be Hinata. Its this idiot's fault," Temari reprimanded Kankurou again, "She worked hard and you just had to ruin the plan!"

"Plan?" Gaara and I both looked at them.

Sheepishly they laughed and Temari dragged Kankurou out of the door.

"Wonder what plan they're talking about," I went back to removing the cake in his hair, "We'll have to wash you hair Gaara-san if it's ever going to come out," I wiped my hands.

"Gaara," he said.

"Hmm?"

"Just call me Gaara," he wiped some frosting off his forehead and put it in his mouth.

He looked at me, I held my breath, "It's good."

I smiled at him, "Thank you Gaara. Let me wash your hair, I did trip after all."

"I thought she was a ninja too!" Kankurou said from out of nowhere.

I heard a clay pot shatter outside. I suppose I'll have to clean that up too.

Half an hour later with Gaara sitting in a chair leaning his head back in the sink. Arms crossed. The cake managed to come off after the second shampooing…Was Gaara sleeping? He looked content enough lying there with his hair wet.

I wrapped his hair in a maroon towel and lifted his head up. His eyes were still closed. Slowly but surely drying his hair.

Fully concentrated on task I was startled when his hand took hold of my arm.

"Yes Gaara?"

"Did you make another one?"

I had some leftover batter from the ruined cake to make a smaller one for him.

/-/-/

One morning, I couldn't find Gaara anywhere.

Not even his siblings knew where he was.

Days later Kankurou said that he was kidnapped.

I didn't know that the heart would break into even more little pieces.

/-/-/

I worried for Gaara over the time he was kidnapped.

Temari tried to cheer me up with her fan dance she made up. But all I remembered was the sand that picked up in the air.

Kankurou-kun performed his kabuki play using his puppets. But that made me remember Gaara's stoic face.

But Gaara still didn't come. I stopped sleeping hoping he would come in the middle of the night or something. I used all my time in the hospital.

Temari filled in for Gaara as Kazekage. The days turned into weeks quickly. I'd finally slept when I cried myself to sleep because I couldn't save a little boy from his illness.

That was when Gaara came back. A nurse woke me up. I wiped off my dry tears and followed her to his room. His room was dark, the monitor beside his bed showed his slow heart beat. She left me alone and closed the door.

He looked paler than me. I grabbed a chair and sat down next to him. He looks…so different. You couldn't tell but the air around him, that changed.

"Gaara," I whispered and laid my head on the bed looking at him.

I took hold of his hand. He closed his around mine. For the second time tonight I was crying.

/-/-/

Gaara started getting more attention lately now that he was back. Girls noticed him more with whispers and giggling. Gaara looked at them with contempt thinking they were talking bad about him.

But no, something different happened. Much to his surprise they gave him a large bento box made from all of them. The group of girls blushed and ran out of the office.

Weird. I watched them leave his office and stood outside giggling. I warily walked inside wondering what was going on.

"Gaara, I stopped by to give you some lunch. But I think you already have it all set up for you," I set mine beside theirs.

He opened theirs; the food sparkled in the light, and poked at their lunch. He lifted up one octopus shaped hot dog and put it in his mouth.

"It's okay."

The girls came in again and cried, "Thank you Gaara! We made it all ourselves."

"Except this part is poisoned and that has sleep induced drugs," he pointed with his chopsticks at the sushi and the tempura.

They stopped and looked at the most innocent one.

"I told you, you put too much!" one of the girls said.

"I thought the Kazekage wouldn't notice," she stared at her shoes.

"Now how will we get him to marry us?"

Guess they forgot that I was his wife. They closed the door behind them. He went back to eating.

"I prefer your company over theirs," he moved theirs to the side and opened mine. Not so much glamorous as theirs but good nonetheless.

I smiled at him again, "And your lunch," he also said.

That made me blush the rest of the day.

/-/-/

3rd POV

"She's been really worried about you Gaara-kun," Temari using the 'kun' only when they were alone.

"What did she do?"

Temari sighed.

"You just don't get it do you little bro? She loves you, its hard not to notice it in her eyes. It's written all over her face."

"Love?" he stopped his writing to look up.

"Yes, love. I'm sure you remember the emotion once. Just please don't be like that baka Naruto fella and be oblivious to everything emotional," Temari got up and left.

'Hinata loves…me,' he looked down.

A breeze entered his office. As well as something in his heart.

/-/-/

"Hinata."

She turns.

He's taken away and sees what his older sister was finally saying.

She walked up to him. Determined look upon her face. Slight pink in her cheeks.

He waited for her next action.

Maybe to hear those three little words from her own lips.

Maybe for him to say it back.

He felt something for her but didn't know if it was 'like' anymore.

Attention to his wife in front of him, she took hold of his face, he never thought about this.

All it took for him to decide was that. Her action. On her toes.

Emotion filled him. He closed his eyes.

And brought her closer.

For that understanding kiss.

* * *

I did a lot of fast forwarding here. Back to story mode then I remembered I was aiming for poetry. XP. Man, I suck at serious fics. 


End file.
